Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Friday, March 30, 2007

Great Success!!!

In Kazakhstan, mustachio eez sign of virility. I have 8 children. And only one of them eez girl! Niiiice!!

Showcase the guns

If you think these two didn't get laid at Rick's later in the night... well then you are just fooling yourself.

Men With Mustaches Do Not Make Empty Threats


"Now Roscoe, for the last time -- you bring me Bo and Luke Duke and we will tweeze their mustaches until they sell us Uncle Jesse's farm."

Tryin to Catch Me Ridin Dirty


As Aaron can attest, Ross ladies cannot resist the idea of a mustache ride.

Goatees are for sissies


O'Connor was excited to learn that 4 out of 5 of his babies' mommas recommended he pull out in the future.

Separated at Birth? Mike Wier and Larry Legend




Every night before he goes to sleep, Mike Wier asks himself if somebody somewhere is working harder on a wispy, blonde mustache. The answer so far, is no.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


In case you were thinking, "Oh man, I have this mustache and I will probably never get laid again" or "This mustache is killing me, who is cool who has a mustache???" Well, Chest Rockwell is probably the coolest guy at Ross and he has a nice tickler to touch off his sporty ensemble in the above photo. Whenever you think about shaving, think about this guy looking down on you with disdain.

Avinash's Parole Party

You see, the trick (in prison) is, kick someone's ass the first day or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be all right. Why do you ask, anyway?
Brendan Lippman seems to have achieved that certain "Je ne sais quoi I have a metrosexual beard and you don't" look... but we question, what is going on in the heart that beats beneath the cable knit sweater??? No one knows... he's probably a serial killer.
Mohit was disappointed recently when ESPN's Mel Kiper dropped him to a 4th round NFL draft pick due to a "difference in actual height vs. hair height". He is hoping to improve his status by growing a nice lip caterpillar to clarify his testosterone abilities. From what we have heard, the Detroit Lions' GM Matt Millen is very interested.

Ahn is an MBA1 who is very involved with the peace movement, mustaches, anti-war rallies, peace in general, and mustaches. Don't let the ocean background fool you, this brother is serious!!!! He thinks that people should just be people and that we should stop raping the land existing above our upper lips to harvest the hair that makes up aborted mustaches. If you are interested in meeting up with Ahn for serious role play, highly contested peace talks, or spirited conversation -- you should bid on him for the Rosstache Contest.
In 1971 a special forces A Team, John H. "Hannibal" Smith, Bosco Albert Baracus, and Templeton Peck, led a raid into North Vietnam to rob the central Bank of Hanoi, a raid that succeeded but which landed Smith's A Team in trouble when his CO, Colonel Morrison, was killed in a Red shelling. In 2007, this team was resurrected with Lt. Col. Erik Franks leading the charge in Ann Arbor, MI. The only catch -- this mission called for a mustache. As you can tell, Lt. Col. Franks was more than up to task.

Friday, March 23, 2007

The Rules

Many of you have requested details/rules, so here goes:

CONTEST KICKOFF: Week of 3/5
o All participants needed to be photographed in the Executive Residence or at Happy Hour clean shaven If you missed this deadline, you can still register with David Pollock (pollockd@umich.edu) by confirming a clean shave anytime after this date.

GROW TIME: Tuesday 3/6 – Thursday 3/29, 5pm
o During Grow Time, beards are acceptable but just letting the stache flow is strongly encouraged.
o Please submit growth pics throughout the process to Dan O’Connor (doconno@umich.edu) or David Pollock (pollockd@umich.edu) for posting on the Stache Blog.

http://www.rosstache2007.blogspot.com/ (Please note, this is not a Ross sponsored blog, so some content may be a bit off-color)

BIDDING OPENS: Wednesday 3/21 - Wednesday 4/4
o Begin to gather sponsorship for your lip broom. A minimum of $10 needs to be collected by the date of judging to be considered an official entrant for the Theme Stache awards (please note, you can bid for yourself). The top bid receivers in the ‘Genetic Predisposition’ and ‘Keep it or Shave it’ weight classes will win the respective titles. (See full category descriptions below).

MOUSTACHE NOW! Thursday 3/29, 6PM
o Time to let the Reynolds rip!!! ALL participants must show up at Happy Hour with stache only (or submit a picture to pollockd@umich.edu by 8PM).
o Again, check-in with Stache Officials at the door to confirm your sweet new look.

THE GREAT ROSS ‘STACHE WEEK: Friday 3/30 - Thursday 4/5
o All participants will proudly don their new caterpillars.

THEME ‘STACHE JUDGING AND AWARD PARTY: Thursday 4/5 -- Friday 4/6
o Thursday, 6pm, Skeepers: Be there for the Award Ceremony and to flaunt the brooms for one last night on the town
o Friday, 9:30 pm, Hill House: GRAND FINALE PARTY (Theme TBD)

THE RULES
o Adherence to the timeline is critical. Any deviation will result removal from the contest and immediate revocation of your Ross Reynolds Club membership.
o No use of growth agents such as Rogaine or other products (coloring agents, weaves, etc.)
o No “short” staches allowed.
o Stache cannot connect in any way below the lip.
o Wear your ‘Stache with PRIDE. We’re trying to set a new standard for Ross and show the world that we’re not only the best damn b-school, but can simultaneously pull off hundreds of great looking moustaches.

THE CHARITY
In order to do some good out of this ridiculousness, each stacher will be required to GET at least $10 in sponsorship to support their participation. All donations will go 50% to Habitat for Humanity and 50% to the Izzy Fund.

Competition Categories:

Keep It or Shave It (On-Line Bidding)
Some of us attract all kinds of lady love when sporting a stache. On the other hand, some of us belong in a child molester lineup after a one month growth. This category exists to more or less identify the best and worst staches in the club.

Genetic Predisposition Stache-Off (On-Line Bidding)
Contrary to popular belief, all men were not created equal. We were all born with a certain genetic predisposition which allows us to grow hair in different quantities and at different rates. This category has been created to level the genetic playing field. The following sub-categories have been created to level the playing field:
Caveman: You are either one hairy SOB or after a three day growth you could give Burt himself a run for his money. 2X per shavers also apply (automatic entrant: Srinivas)

Average Joe: There really isn’t too much special about you, but take solace in knowing that you’re normal. (Examples: O’Connor and Wier)

Pre-Pubescent: You don’t have back, leg, or arm hair. You were probably a late bloomer and to this day your face is as soft as a baby’s ass after shaving.

Theme Stache-Off (Live Celebrity Judging at Scorekeepers Happy Hour on 4/5)
This category has been created to celebrate those that look like a stereotype when growing a cookie duster. Themes are still being determined but you can count on approximately six themes. Examples may include Best Cop, Best Porn Star, Best Trucker.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Basketball anyone?

In case you thought only non-athletes like Burt could lie around looking very homo-erotic with a cool stache, well... apology accepted then. Here we have Wendell Ladner of the now defunct ABA. Will Ferrell will play a character loosely based on him in the upcoming feature film: SemiPro. So that's yet another fun Stache fact to let you know that you are very fashionable. Go forth and be hairy.

Electrifying!

Johnny Cakes? Is that you? http://katespot.com/archives/vitoandjohnny_small.jpg

Old Wise Tale...

Apparently lightning can strike twice.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Great picture of Dave Chapman's uncle Shamus


Please take note of the chest-tuft. Nothing says 'cool' like visible pubes.

Mustache grooming tips

Here are links to some articles (one, two, three) that provide tips on mustache grooming and styling. Also, here's an article that explores why mustaches have come to be so reviled in the modern age.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Welcome to the Jungle

Welcome to Rosstache 2007. It's been called the 'flavor saver', 'the womb broom', and 'lip warmer', but here at Rosstache we prefer to think of it as the ultimate aphrodisiac. We are one week in to the contest and by now you should have a pretty good sense of your testosterone levels. Luckily, we don't discriminate - from a Larry Bird peach fuzz stache circa 1981 to something as impressive as Burt's matching carpet and drapes ensemble in the above pic - all Stachers are received with open arms. So get ready to rock out with your proverbial cock out, and just make sure you don't touch a razor. Be sure to bookmark this page to check back for pictures and updates on growth.